Plans

How do you plan the first day of school for your child in a new city?  How, a daughter's wedding? How, a trip to a store or a new career?  What should be thought out well in advance, what some time ahead, what just before, what at the last moment? What about a funeral?  How do you plan for that? How about a divorce?

That was when, you, almost the most private person in class, told us the story of your divorce. Not pretty, not ugly, not even very sad, it was your contribution to the stories that had been told of wills and wedding dresses. I'd planned small group discussions but it had turned into a big circle with questions directed to each point of the compass to keep everyone on their toes.

On that basis, after respectful questions, your story became part of the general rollicking discussion, the kind that makes student feel that English can be place they feel at home in.

I'm frequently struck by how people speak of the some of the most important events in their lives, some of them more than a little amazing, in such a matter-of-fact manner. People who have had adventures as exciting as anything imagined by a writer are often off-hand about them. And concerning episodes of poor judgment, it's as if whatever pedagogical pus in the story has been drawn, and though ineradicable as a scar, the tale is no longer proud or prominent, serving just as illustration.

So with my youthful escapades and the damage thereof. What to say about them except that they made me who I am (leaving aside the other characters who've long since forgotten.) Our lives have moved on (classic phrase) and here we are, not so much sadder or wiser, but wondering: 'Was that me?'

As I read history, beyond my occasional postmortem regrets and counter-factual speculations, I contemplate the migrations, the maneuverings, the manipulations, and all the bustle of the past as wonderful: that it was, that it was what it was, that it was what it was for me, for us.

Just so we, you my quiet student and I, may ponder the stories we tell. Thank you for sharing yours.