Importuned

Not the ancient mariner but the bearded man did catch my eye and my sleeve as I walked briskly down the street. 'Thank you for stopping' he said. 'What have you got,' I asked impatiently, not beating my breast or hearing the 'loud bassoon', but still with an errand to do.

What I got was a quick summary of the woes of the world, of the programs of a particular charity (unfamiliar to me) to deal with these, of the many good things its money does (and even more money could do more) to make a difference, how giving monthly pledges helps organizations optimize their budgeting, and what would I feel comfortable giving?

Who exactly were those in need,were the people to be helped? His account swarmed with references to which I couldn't attach any image, not to mention a compelling one. It was confusing.

And then, I'm not known for monetary generosity largely because I don't feel in control of my finances due to 1. a reluctance to really consider them, and 2. the complexities of negotiating the management of it. So the prospect of having to come up with money month after month rather frightens me. I've failed before and don't want to despise myself by failing again.

After saying something on these lines, I learned much more about the 'mariner': his children, his profession, his prospects, his disabilities, the company he worked for to raise money for the charity, the way he gets paid. I was being pulled into hsi private life.

Yet, there is need in the world that can be ameliorated somewhat by my money. Also, I should resolve my fiscal confusion in order to be able to make decisions to contribute if and when I want to. If I give, I give; if I don't, not, and be able to stand self-justified on my decisions. What I shouldn't be is afraid of importunity.

He let me go after apologizing for long-windedness. Canvassing is hard, and I wish him well, though I don't see how his torrent of words would win him success. But, this episode aside, the ball is in my court. Shouldn't I be ready to be generous with my money (however much I'm capable of) as well as with physical help and other such support? Shouldn't I put my financial house in order so as to know what exactly that capability is?  Laziness mixed with cowardice: a disappointing combination. Released, I went about my business 'like one that hath been stunned, And is of sense forlorn: A sadder and a wiser man,' at least a little.
.